


the other side (where the grass is greener)

by hopeless_hope



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Dean, Depression, Family, Hurt/Comfort, I love angst, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, castiel - Freeform, i have plans to expand on this, maybe later on, they're just so precious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:18:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_hope/pseuds/hopeless_hope
Summary: Sam wanting out is nothing new. But neither is the fact that Dean will always be there for him.





	the other side (where the grass is greener)

Sam was fourteen.

Like every other teenager his age, he was unsure and confused about a lot of things. He was terrible at talking to girls, always getting into arguments with his dad, and was unsure of what he wanted his future to look like.

But the one thing he was certain of was that he wanted _out._

He didn't want to practice shooting everyday and learn to fight by doing hand-to-hand with his brother. He didn't want to read ancient spells or memorize the steps to killing a wendigo and practice endurance running like it's life or death â€“ because it _was_ life or death.

Sam wanted to stress about asking his crush out and passing Algebra and maybe about making the football team. He wanted his hobby to be playing video games, not slaughtering supernatural beings.

They'd finally been able to stay at one school for a new record of four months. Sam was excited, because for once, he'd actually managed to make a couple friends. For the first time, he'd been invited over to someone's house to hang out for the evening.

He was actually forming some semblance of normal life.

Their dad had been gone on a hunt for the last couple of weeks, claiming that it was a one-man job. Sam was fine with that; Dean had always been more of a father to him than John would ever be.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam started hesitantly as they made their way back to the motel from school.

"What's up, Sammy?" Dean asked.

Sam scowled. "It's Sam, not Sammy." Dean just rolled his eyes and gestured for him to continue. "My friend, Robert, you know â€“ the one I've been telling you about? â€“ invited me over to his house tonight. He said we could, like, play video games and I could look at some of his comics and stuff. Can I go? It's a Friday, so it's not like we have school tomorrow."

Dean raised his eyebrows, glancing over at his brother. He tried to steel himself against Sam's signature puppy dog eyes, he really did.

"Sammyâ€¦ Do you really think it's wise? I know you really like him, butâ€¦ we don't know how much longer we're even going to be here.

Sam scowled. "I don't _fucking_ care, Dean. This is the first time I have ever, in my whole life, been in one place long enough to make a friend and be invited to their house. Please, just let me be a normal kid for one fucking night."

His lower lip trembled slightly, and aw _hell,_ how was Dean supposed to say no when his little brother looked at him like that? Besides, he reasoned to himself, what harm could one night out do that hasn't already been done?

Staring at the road, Dean let the silence stretch between them, before asking, "So where's this kid live?"

Sam's answering smile was one hundred percent worth it.

Until they got to the motel and it was instantly killed.

Dean groaned at the sight of their dad, bags sitting unopened on one of the beds.

"Sam, Dean, pack up," he said in greeting. "I've got a new case, and I'll need both of your help. I want to be out of here within the hour."

"No!" Sam said heatedly. "We can't, I'm going to my friend's house tonight!"

John looked at him flatly. "We don't get to have friends in this business, Sam. You know that." Dean closed his eyes, knowing this wasn't going to be pretty.

Sam raised his chin defiantly. "Well, I have one. His name is Robert, and he's going to let me look at his collection of Marvel comics, and we both like books and he's really good at math, and _I'm going to his house tonight_ , _whether you like or not!"_

Dean's eyes widened in shock. While Sam and John had had their differences and arguments over the years, Sam had never outright defied their father.

John's face colored red as he stomped over to Sam. "You better watch how you talk to me, boy! You'll do exactly as I damn well tell you to do. Pack your shit and get in the car."

Sam cast a helpless glance in Dean's direction, and the older brother sighed.

"Dad, isn't there any way that we could hold off just one more night?" Dean tried. Only years of dealing with their father kept Dean from flinching as John whirled on him.

"Oh, you too? I don't think you two _get_ it. There are people's _lives_ hanging in the balance here. And you want to risk their lives for what? A tea party and cartoons?" he scoffed.

"I don't _care_ about those other families, Dad!" Sam exploded.

"Sam â€“ " Dean started, shocked, but Sam cut him off.

"No! I don't fucking care! God, I've spent my entire freaking life saving people, so why can't I just do one thing for myself? Why can't I have this one thing?" Frustrated tears spilled from his eyes. Dean's heart broke. Sam had always had a much harder time coping with this lifestyle than him, and it's only gotten worse with age.

John took in Sam's crumpling composure, softening just a little. "Because this is the hunter's life, son. The only thing we get to have is each other. I know â€“ I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it has to be enough. That's just the way it is. I'm sorry."

With an angry cry, Sam rushed at their father, shoving him hard. "Fine. If you're so eager to leave, you can pack it all up yourself," he spat before stomping out the door.

Dean and John stared after him, speechless. Dean watched as John wiped a tired hand over his face. Without a word, Dean began folding his and Sam's clothes, carefully placing them in their duffle bags.

"Dean," John said tiredly, nodding towards the door. "Go talk to him. I know you want to."

Glancing at his dad as if to make sure he was real, Dean quickly took his leave, stepping into the cool afternoon breeze. He walked over to the Impala, seeing the long frame of his little brother curled up on the back seat.

Dean opened the door, sliding in beside the shaking form.

"If you've come to say, 'I told you so,' I've already gotten the message," Sam sniffled. Dean gruffly reached out to run a hand through Sam's hair, smiling as his little brother leaned into the touch.

"Now, would I ever do such a thing?" Dean asked in mock disbelief. Sam sat up, looking at him with bleary eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

Dean silently held an arm out, and Sam seemed to have an inner debate on whether his pride and masculinity would let him hug his brother, before eventually giving up and burrowing into his big brother's side.

"This is so unfair," Sam complained. "Why can't we just be normal?"

Dean patted his back sympathetically and let out a long sigh. "I don't know, Sammy," he admitted. "But you know what I _do_ know?" Dean asked, tilting Sam's head up so that they locked gazes. "Even when all this stuff around us changes, I will always be here. Me and you against the world, right?"

Sam nodded, hugging his brother tight. "Right," he agreed.

And three years later, when he got accepted into Stanford, Sam finally got to walk out.

Dean was the only thing that made him look back.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm very new to the spn family (a bit late, I know) so you'll have to forgive any inaccuracies or timeline errors. I plan for each chapter to be it's own small story where Sam deals with various points in his life where he wants out in some way, with Dean always being his person to fall back on. Please comment, because I'd love to know what you think and also I crave love and validation. ;) Thank you for reading!


End file.
